Confidence. It is a powerful tool to have. It can be the difference maker in your success in life. It can make you stand out among your peers, lead others well, and become an innovator. It can make you more attractive to others, get noticed by your superiors, and lead to more happiness in your life.
We all want more confidence. There seems to be no limit on how much we can attain. But how do we get it? It is easy to believe that some people are just born with confidence, while others are not. While this may be true in a sense, it does not mean that confidence is something you either inherently have or don’t have. On the contrary, confidence can be gained. If you have zero confidence in something, take heart. You can change that. If you are confident already, you can grow.
With that in mind, here are three keys to gaining more confidence in your life. As your confidence grows, your fears disappear. Let’s dive in.
Confidence comes from competence. The better you are at something, the more confident you will be. Even though confidence is found in our current strengths and competencies, it is also able to be found anywhere else. Competence can be developed. It is not always natural ability. If you believe this simple truth, you can find confidence, not just in your current ability, but in your curiosity. The highest performers in the world understand this. They carry a powerful sense of confidence, not because they know everything, but because they believe they can learn anything.
If you believe you can learn anything, you’ll be more confident in trying new things and in taking the “road less traveled.” You’ll venture more into the unknown, seek innovation, and believe in a greater sense of possibility.
All too often, many of us are guilty of focusing more on our failures than our successes. We are told that failing is good and leads to the best kind of learning. While there is truth to this, we must also consciously take full advantage of our successes. It can be easy to do something well and experience a win, then chalk it up to our existing talent or even luck. However, these wins need to be attributed to our own identity, and not taken for granted.
When you succeed and give yourself credit, you build a stronger identity. More accurately, you build a truer version of your identity. You must believe that your wins in life are possible because they came from you. You must believe that it can happen again, and in greater measure.
We all live from a particular story we tell ourselves. Our story is built upon life experiences, failures, successes, events, parents, friends, etc. We create a paradigm in our mind about how the world works and what we are capable of. The problem is that the story isn’t true, at least not entirely. We have the ability to leave that story behind and take control of our own lives. We can write our own ending and not conform to the path that we think we’ve been given.
What happens when we live form our limited story is that we make safe choices. We choose the path of least resistance and pursue a sense of security that agrees with our story. From this place we don’t have confidence to step out of our comfort zones. But if you want to build confidence, start making choices that agree with the “real you”. Step out of the box of your perceived identity and grow into the person you most desire to be. You’ll discover that your fears were much smaller than they appeared and that they were merely illusions based on your old story. Real confidence comes from constantly stepping beyond what is comfortable and growing. The real you is confident.
So, if you feel fear in any area of life then you know where you must go. Fear is like a beacon leading to a doorway behind which is a better version of you – a version you desire to be. Believe that whatever you step into, you can learn. Whatever you learn, you can apply to your life until you succeed. When you win, know that it is a reflection of who you really are and apply it to your life fully.
Confidence is not as far away as you think. Take action today. Confidence will follow.